dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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