I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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