Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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