Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
