$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
