Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Pooping to opera.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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