Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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