I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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