The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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