Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
