I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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