hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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