she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
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and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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