onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
BRING THE BAGELS
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
