you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
only you would photoshop your dick
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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