Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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