The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize