my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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