You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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