My first STD was from a foam party
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
