Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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