I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
