oh god the rape fog is back!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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