You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
