i don't like sucking hair
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
