And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
