i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
