Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
