True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
