As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
