I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
