no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
