We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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