is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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