I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Less talking, more tequila
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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