I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
