D3 body, D1 cock
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
