tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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