He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
