I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Vodka?
Forever.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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