ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
