Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize