Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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