Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
