She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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