I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize