I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Never joke about your clitoris.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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