We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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