It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
