I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i think my cat just said my name.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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