just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize