i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I need water and some morals
Randomize
