the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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