I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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