lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
