I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
