Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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