Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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