There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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