i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
