I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
