Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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