I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
