i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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