He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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